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Welcome to The I Matter Project Intermediate A Course: 

Thinking Developmentally


In the Intermediate course we look at three aspects of challenging behaviour:

Sessions 1 and 2: How did we get here?

Sessions 3 and 4: Where are we now?

Sessions 5 and 6: How do we get to where we want to go?


Your course is kept open for you for 16 weeks from your initial registration.

Course Curriculum


  • Welcome back to Your I Matter Studies
  • About the Intermediate Course - Some Preparation
  • Learning Outcomes of the Intermediate Course
  • Practitioner Roles
  • SOS DISCLAIMER and Copyright
  • Workbook - I Matter Intermediate Course


  • Introduce Yourself Again
  • Ten Principles for Practice
  • Initial Check In
  • Revision of Key Elements of the I Matter Framework
  • The Big Picture - What should we fund or prioritise
  • What should we fund?
  • Becoming an Empowered Adult
  • Tool 1: The I Matter Registration Questionnaires
  • The I Matter Model
  • I Matter Q - Brief chart
  • Tool 2: Finding a Direction of Travel - Your Purpose in Life
  • My Wants and Not Wants
  • Bonus Tool 1: Assess Your Basic Parenting Skills
  • Bonus Tool 2: Assess your Therapeutic Parenting-Caring Skills
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate Introduciotn

INTERMEDIATE ONE - Where are We Now? Thinking Developmentally

  • Using a Developmental Framework
  • Tool 3: The I Can Control and Calm Myself Checklist in Development
  • I Can Control and Calm Myself checklist
  • Tool 4: I Matter Developmental Assessment
  • I Matter Developmental Assessment - download
  • Gross Motor Development
  • Stages in Social Emotional Development
  • The Development of Attention and Memory
  • Stages in Play Development
  • Stages in Language Development
  • The Development of Memory and the Impact of Trauma
  • Sensory Issues, Diet and Early Developmental Difficulties
  • Play skills checklist
  • Sensory
  • Your feedback - Intermediate 1

INTERMEDIATE TWO - How Did we Get Here? How do Difficulties Emerge?

  • What types of challenges are we trying to understand?
  • How Escalated is the Situation? How much Help is Your Child Needing?
  • How escalated are the challenges checklist
  • When Love Turns to Dislike
  • When love turns to dislike
  • Cycles of Escalation
  • Tool 5: The Complexity of Needs Assessment Tool
  • Complexity of Needs assessment tool
  • Tool 6: My Child's Early Developmentl
  • Preschool development checklist
  • My child's early development
  • Conflict Thermometer
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 2

INTERMEDIATE THREE: How Escalation Happens

  • Understanding Escalation Processes
  • Fear and Rage in Dyads
  • Relationships Matter
  • Why Some Relationships are More Challenging than Others
  • Understanding Overwhelm and Blocked Caring
  • Do you feel Connected or Disconnected
  • Tool 7: I'm Feeling Concerned Tools
  • I'm Feeling Concerned
  • Tool 8: Thinking About Readiness for Change
  • Readiness for change - download
  • Readiness for change
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 3

INTERMEDIATE FOUR - Brain Differences

  • Core Beliefs and their Importance
  • Male - Female Differences
  • Right brain left brain
  • Right Brain - Left Brain
  • Love and the Zone of Vulnerability
  • Love and the Zone of Vulnerability - download
  • The Threat of Boredom
  • Maturation, Flashbacks and the Impact of Stress and Trauma
  • Tool 9: Revision - The beliefs of Red and Green Route
  • Tool 10: Why You Matter!
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 4

INTERMEDIATE FIVE - How do we get there? Start with You!

  • Your Key Role in All This
  • Start with Your Relationship with You
  • Start with You
  • Healthy Relationships - You Must Lead
  • Know What You Want. Healthy Relationships by Intention
  • Rules for a Happier Life and Clear S-JBR-C Small PACE Steps Communication
  • Self-Care and Addressing Unfinished Business
  • I'm Feeling Stressed Out
  • Parenting Skills Matter
  • Tool 11: Assess your Basic Parenting skills
  • Tool 12 Re-Assess your Therapeutic Parenting-Caring Skills
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 5

INTERMEDIATE SIX - Building Your Child's Skills

  • Supporting Your Child's Social Development - Review the Needs
  • Creating Space for The Five Developmental Stages of Play
  • Routines: How beginnings and endings create safety
  • Routines: How beginnings and endings create safety
  • Emotion Coaching - Building a Feeling Language
  • Skills for Managing Anger
  • Reclaiming Your Child - Collecting, Mirroring, Relaxing
  • Funnelling
  • Hanging Out - Development Through Daily Activities
  • Household skills checklist
  • Advanced Relationship Skills - Healthy Trading
  • Building Skills in the Face of Resistance
  • Readiness or resistance to change - download
  • Tool 13: Help Your Child With Repair
  • How you manage conflict matters
  • what motivates your child - checklist
  • Planning sheet - download
  • Tool 14: From Fear to Love
  • The Biggest Prize - Well-Being and Awareness for You, Your child and Family, and Your Community


  • Final Review
  • What now? Planning for your B course
  • References and More Reading
  • Final Exercise and Study Support Reflections


It's quite simple really - we offer resources and encourage people to take time to think and learn about what is happening around them..

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We carefully gather evidence of the impact of I Matter Training using a variety of formats and will be presenting more here very shortly.

Get Started: Learn why healthy adult-child relationships and healthy communities matter for mental health, positive behaviour and healthy child development at home and in school. Then.. Take Stock and Go for Results.


If I had understood these ideas earlier

I could have been a lot more effective

Family Support Worker



Which best applies? With this email is your interest as:

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