Featured (4)


Welcome to The I Matter Project Intermediate A Course: 

Thinking Developmentally


In the Intermediate course we look at three aspects of challenging behaviour:

Sessions 1 and 2: How did we get here?

Sessions 3 and 4: Where are we now?

Sessions 5 and 6: How do we get to where we want to go?


Your course is kept open for you for 16 weeks from your initial registration.


Course Curriculum


  • Welcome back to Your I Matter Studies
  • About the Intermediate Course - Some Preparation
  • Learning Outcomes of the Intermediate Course
  • Practitioner Roles
  • SOS DISCLAIMER and Copyright
  • Workbook - I Matter Intermediate Course


  • Introduce Yourself Again
  • Ten Principles for Practice
  • Initial Check In
  • Revision of Key Elements of the I Matter Framework
  • The Big Picture - What should we fund or prioritise
  • What should we fund?
  • Becoming an Empowered Adult
  • Tool 1: The I Matter Registration Questionnaires
  • The I Matter Model
  • I Matter Q - Brief chart
  • Tool 2: Finding a Direction of Travel - Your Purpose in Life
  • My Wants and Not Wants
  • Bonus Tool 1: Assess Your Basic Parenting Skills
  • Bonus Tool 2: Assess your Therapeutic Parenting-Caring Skills
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate Introduciotn

INTERMEDIATE ONE - Where are We Now? Thinking Developmentally

  • Using a Developmental Framework
  • Tool 3: The I Can Control and Calm Myself Checklist in Development
  • I Can Control and Calm Myself checklist
  • Tool 4: I Matter Developmental Assessment
  • I Matter Developmental Assessment - download
  • Gross Motor Development
  • Stages in Social Emotional Development
  • The Development of Attention and Memory
  • Stages in Play Development
  • Stages in Language Development
  • The Development of Memory and the Impact of Trauma
  • Sensory Issues, Diet and Early Developmental Difficulties
  • Play skills checklist
  • Sensory
  • Your feedback - Intermediate 1

INTERMEDIATE TWO - How Did we Get Here? How do Difficulties Emerge?

  • What types of challenges are we trying to understand?
  • How Escalated is the Situation? How much Help is Your Child Needing?
  • How escalated are the challenges checklist
  • When Love Turns to Dislike
  • When love turns to dislike
  • Cycles of Escalation
  • Tool 5: The Complexity of Needs Assessment Tool
  • Complexity of Needs assessment tool
  • Tool 6: My Child's Early Developmentl
  • Preschool development checklist
  • My child's early development
  • Conflict Thermometer
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 2

INTERMEDIATE THREE: How Escalation Happens

  • Understanding Escalation Processes
  • Fear and Rage in Dyads
  • Relationships Matter
  • Why Some Relationships are More Challenging than Others
  • Understanding Overwhelm and Blocked Caring
  • Do you feel Connected or Disconnected
  • Tool 7: I'm Feeling Concerned Tools
  • I'm Feeling Concerned
  • Tool 8: Thinking About Readiness for Change
  • Readiness for change - download
  • Readiness for change
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 3

INTERMEDIATE FOUR - Brain Differences

  • Core Beliefs and their Importance
  • Male - Female Differences
  • Right brain left brain
  • Right Brain - Left Brain
  • Love and the Zone of Vulnerability
  • Love and the Zone of Vulnerability - download
  • The Threat of Boredom
  • Maturation, Flashbacks and the Impact of Stress and Trauma
  • Tool 9: Revision - The beliefs of Red and Green Route
  • Tool 10: Why You Matter!
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 4

INTERMEDIATE FIVE - How do we get there? Start with You!

  • Your Key Role in All This
  • Start with Your Relationship with You
  • Start with You
  • Healthy Relationships - You Must Lead
  • Know What You Want. Healthy Relationships by Intention
  • Rules for a Happier Life and Clear S-JBR-C Small PACE Steps Communication
  • Self-Care and Addressing Unfinished Business
  • I'm Feeling Stressed Out
  • Parenting Skills Matter
  • Tool 11: Assess your Basic Parenting skills
  • Tool 12 Re-Assess your Therapeutic Parenting-Caring Skills
  • Your Feedback - Intermediate 5

INTERMEDIATE SIX - Building Your Child's Skills

  • Supporting Your Child's Social Development - Review the Needs
  • Creating Space for The Five Developmental Stages of Play
  • Routines: How beginnings and endings create safety
  • Routines: How beginnings and endings create safety
  • Emotion Coaching - Building a Feeling Language
  • Skills for Managing Anger
  • Reclaiming Your Child - Collecting, Mirroring, Relaxing
  • Funnelling
  • Hanging Out - Development Through Daily Activities
  • Household skills checklist
  • Advanced Relationship Skills - Healthy Trading
  • Building Skills in the Face of Resistance
  • Readiness or resistance to change - download
  • Tool 13: Help Your Child With Repair
  • How you manage conflict matters
  • what motivates your child - checklist
  • Planning sheet - download
  • Tool 14: From Fear to Love
  • The Biggest Prize - Well-Being and Awareness for You, Your child and Family, and Your Community


  • Final Review
  • What now? Planning for your B course
  • References and More Reading
  • Final Exercise and Study Support Reflections


Completion:  The online course will be open to you until the end of the spring term.  An extension fee or a small subscription is required if you want to keep access for longe


IMPORTANT: The material in this course touches on issues to do with personal relationships that can be experienced as sensitive.  So you are responsible for deciding if this is the right time for you personally to take part.   Professionals who are also parents can opt to take part in the professionals who are parents Foundation B course in addition to the professionals as professionals Foundation B option.   Your online registration is subject to our Terms and Conditions including our Booking and Cancellation policy


About the instructor

Dr Cathy Betoin is a practising clinical psychologist, an experienced teacher and a parent.

She has worked in schools, child psychology and CAMHS settings for over 30 years with children and families who are managing a wide variety of challenging and complex behaviours. Cathy has a passion for ensuring that parents, carers and professionals who work directly with children have access to the knowledge and understanding that can help them make a difference.

The Adult-Child Well-Being 'I Matter' Framework is a carefully organised well-evidenced set of ideas organised into a practical foundation for decision making.  It draws attention to the fact that to help a challenging or complex child we have to put adult-child relationships, adult-child stress and child development back on the map.



It's quite simple really - we offer resources and encourage people to take time to think and learn about what is happening around them..

blog placeholder image


We carefully gather evidence of the impact of I Matter Training using a variety of formats and will be presenting more here very shortly.

Get Started: Learn why healthy adult-child relationships and healthy communities matter for mental health, positive behaviour and healthy child development at home and in school. Then.. Take Stock and Go for Results.


If I had understood these ideas earlier

I could have been a lot more effective

Family Support Worker



Which best applies? With this email is your interest as:

I Matter Training has a registered Trademark and logo. All rights reserved Copyright CBetoin 2019.